I started putting the pieces together during the divorce. Several aliases were given when my lawyer looked into it. Lots of info came out a long while after, though.
Among other things, I found out that he had not been employed where he said he was for a long while, he lied about work “potlucks” in which he “was supposed to bring a dish or a cash donation for food” (he would tell me only an hour or so before these “events”), his therapy attendance, his mandate AA attendance (he had a sponser lie for him in exchange for god knows what), his family experience, his education background, his travels, where he acquired items & appliances, what happened to my pets, etc.
It got real dark. I ran into an old mutual friend after the divorce that I had not spoken to for a looong time. He asked what my ex had “ended up doing with the cat.” I was shocked. My cat mysteriously went missing during our marriage, so I asked what he meant. He said that my ex came over and asked what he should do with “an annoying cat that kept coming to [our] house”, and they had given advice about shelters and websites where he could give the cat away. There was never a cat that came to our house. Only my cat. I never saw him again.
That relationship was an actual psychological horror. There’s soooo much more, but that’s some of it.
How about my entire marriage?
No joke, turns out that he was even lying about his name!
Thankfully, that meant that he and I don’t even share the same last name, so I didn’t feel the need to change it after the divorce.
Nearly every single thing that man told me was a lie.
That must have been horrible. Did it all come out at once, or did you piece things together a little at a time?
I started putting the pieces together during the divorce. Several aliases were given when my lawyer looked into it. Lots of info came out a long while after, though.
Among other things, I found out that he had not been employed where he said he was for a long while, he lied about work “potlucks” in which he “was supposed to bring a dish or a cash donation for food” (he would tell me only an hour or so before these “events”), his therapy attendance, his mandate AA attendance (he had a sponser lie for him in exchange for god knows what), his family experience, his education background, his travels, where he acquired items & appliances, what happened to my pets, etc.
It got real dark. I ran into an old mutual friend after the divorce that I had not spoken to for a looong time. He asked what my ex had “ended up doing with the cat.” I was shocked. My cat mysteriously went missing during our marriage, so I asked what he meant. He said that my ex came over and asked what he should do with “an annoying cat that kept coming to [our] house”, and they had given advice about shelters and websites where he could give the cat away. There was never a cat that came to our house. Only my cat. I never saw him again.
That relationship was an actual psychological horror. There’s soooo much more, but that’s some of it.