Translates to:
“You will be simultaneously micromanaged and expected to know everything with no prior documentation, and you will be underpaid for your efforts. We also have no organization whatsoever :)))”
“Fast paced environment” is the one that always gets me, because that’s just explicitly admitting that their organization is a total clusterfuck but somehow this inevitably gets put in the bullet points list because some bozo apparently thinks this is a positive thing that will make people want to work wherever-it-is.
All it means is that you’d better show up wearing roller skates because management is going to expect you to be in three places at once all the time.
And fast paced environments tend to have a focus on “time-management skills.” I once interviewed at a place that was looking for someone with “excellent time management skills” because people kept going on vacation, getting back, and never being able to get caught back up with their workload because things kept being assigned to them while they were out and no one was assigned to cover for them. I felt like the manager who was interviewing me knew exactly what the real problem was.
We’re like family is a HUGE red flag for me. I had a boss use that as a selling feature to get me to work there. I had come from a place that really was like a family, a nice one, where we all really cared about each other. Turns out she meant it in the unpaid slave labour way. You can’t make a group of people a “family”, it has to grow that way Crystal. And not through pain and suffering!
“Lean and nimble”
“Moving with a sense of purpose”
“We’re like a family”
“Synergy”
“High energy multitasker”
“Detail oriented”
“Fast paced environment”
Translates to: “You will be simultaneously micromanaged and expected to know everything with no prior documentation, and you will be underpaid for your efforts. We also have no organization whatsoever :)))”
“Fast paced environment” is the one that always gets me, because that’s just explicitly admitting that their organization is a total clusterfuck but somehow this inevitably gets put in the bullet points list because some bozo apparently thinks this is a positive thing that will make people want to work wherever-it-is.
All it means is that you’d better show up wearing roller skates because management is going to expect you to be in three places at once all the time.
And fast paced environments tend to have a focus on “time-management skills.” I once interviewed at a place that was looking for someone with “excellent time management skills” because people kept going on vacation, getting back, and never being able to get caught back up with their workload because things kept being assigned to them while they were out and no one was assigned to cover for them. I felt like the manager who was interviewing me knew exactly what the real problem was.
We’re like family is a HUGE red flag for me. I had a boss use that as a selling feature to get me to work there. I had come from a place that really was like a family, a nice one, where we all really cared about each other. Turns out she meant it in the unpaid slave labour way. You can’t make a group of people a “family”, it has to grow that way Crystal. And not through pain and suffering!