Hemingways_Shotgun

Based on the number of sightings on this map, I’m starting to think that maybe most people have just never seen a homeless person before…

An abusive partner who enjoys gaslighting.

Shelter in place for a while until decomposition of their muscles makes them completely ineffectual and unable to actually move.

Shouldn’t take long.

Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins.

Yep. And therein lies my frustration.

David Decoteau (or he’ll sometimes use his alias “Richard Chasen”) stole the perfect premise for what could have been a great shlocky low-to-mid-budget action movie. And no NO ONE can ever make it without being compared with…that…whatever it is…

I in no way call this “mediocre”; Its just a flat our terrible low budget bullshit film that the director made as an excuse to hang out with shirtless dudes.

But years ago the guys at Red Letter Media did a segment on “Bigfoot vs D.B. Cooper”, and that premise alone (what happened after D.B. Cooper landed) has lived in my brain ever since.

It legitimately angers me that such a great high concept idea was completely wasted on what basically amounts to gay porn.

Phil Hartman has honestly been gone for so long now I’ve forgotten him. But yeah, you are correct.

As for Bill Hader. He’s the best of a bad bunch, and he’s okay, but being one of the better SNL alums is a very very low bar to cross.

And I mean, yeah…I should definitely clarify that I’m not talking about classic SNL (Eddie Murphy, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, etc…) That generation made great films after their careers at SNL ended.

• Adam Sandler

• Jennifer Lopez

• “Insert ex-Saturday Night Live actor here”

• Leonardo DiCaprio (I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but I’ve believed he was a shit actor forever and there’s a reason it took him so long to get an oscar…and it wasn’t because of “snubbing”…he was just routinely shit up until the Revenant.)

• John Travolta

• Jennifer Lawrence (Up until recently, she was literally the female DiCaprio. Everything I said about him applied to her. Unlike DiCaprio, she got far far better rather quickly and my issue with her nowadays is mostly her choice of movies just aren’t my jam.)

• Tom Cruise

Definitely uncut. All the extra shit they can add to it just dilutes the high.