I hate that. I had my home built to spec a few years ago. The exterior siding is cedar shake stained a chocolatey brown with forest green trim, and the interior is white walls but with natural wood trim, pale golden laminate wood flooring, and two tone hickory wood cabinets, and the interior doors are all just natural wood unpainted.

I’ve leaned into the wood aesthetic with my DIY standing desk and custom pine desktop stained a dark red oak color, among various other earth tone color hints, and splashes of brighter decoration here and there.

Was going for “cozy cabin/cottage” and I think we nailed it. It’s very rustic.

I really hate the modern trends of white, black, steel, and glass.

An old generic pocket knife I bought in a mall shop back in 2001.

I don’t have a mental health issue and the thoughts of suicide come from a place of logic.

It may seem that way, but speaking as someone who has suffered a variety of health conditions, as well as anxiety and depression, what seems logical at the moment could very well not be. Your brain can actively work against your best interest in times of extreme stress.

You’re likely in a bad headspace right now, so I’d advise to keep working with your counselor/therapist and discuss this with them.

Also, maybe trite, but things will not always be this bad, but it will if things end for you now. Hang in there if you can. Not judging, I know what it’s like for life to suck so bad you’d rather it be over. I got through that period and I hope you do as well.